Saturday, May 20, 2006


A very good subject

David at Random Nuclear Strikes takes a stab at defining love, he actually does very well and I would say his answers are a lot more concise than mine. I'm still happy with my reply, and while I don't know the age of David, my answer is my well considered response from a man nearing fifty. I do think about this.

In the end when we are just fond memories to the loved one we have known, it's the love that we knew that really defines who we were. I would like my grandchildren some day to say to their children,

He loved your great grandmother with the heat of a raging sun, and everything he did, sprang from that.

That, is the memory I would like them to have.


It helps if you're crazy I guess.

Oliver Stone's making a 9/11 movie, ...... oh boy...

Why are all the controversial directers flat out nuts? I found this little exchange between Stone and Christpher Hitchens, my favorite socialist.

At an HBO Films panel on "Making Movies That Matter," Oliver Stone opined that huge corporations that make mediocre movies are part of what made Osama bin Laden plan the Sept. 11 attack. "They control culture," he said of the corporations, in comments quoted in the New Yorker. "They control ideas. And I think the revolt of Sept. 11th was about 'F-- you! F-- your order.' "

The outrage of fellow panelist Christopher Hitchens is often directed at corporations, too, but he had a different view this time. "Excuse me?" he said.

"Revolt? It was state-sponsored mass murder, using civilians as missiles." Hitchens said later he thought Stone was "a moral idiot as well as an intellectual idiot." Stone said later, "This attack was pure chaos, and chaos is energy." (Source: Leah Garchik, "The Stars Weigh In," San Francisco Chronicle, October 16, 2001.)

I think Hitch pretty well covered it.

I know he said it a few years ago, but I really doubt his opinion has changed much since, Stone that is. So brace for another movie that's designed to outrage. The best defense is to just ignore it I think. let it sink without a ripple. The more people are outaged, the more other people will want to see it to catch a look at what it's all about. Loud protests just put money in Stone's pocket. So like the Da Vinci Code, I won't say all that much about it. See it if you want, just remember that Stone's track record on accuracy is a joke. He'll get the date right, but I wouldn't bet on anything else.




Drudge linked to this.

"He will tell us we are young and too naive to have valid opinions," Rohe said. "I am young and though I don't possess the wisdom that time affords us, I do know that pre-emptive war is dangerous. And I know that despite all the havoc that my country has wrought overseas in my name, Osama bin Laden still has not been found, nor have those weapons of mass destruction."

Considering the tiny number of hecklers, compared to the numbers of people that were there, McCain didn't do badly in a liberal audience. Little missy here was prompt to blame it all on us, but,... I can forgive a child who never had a chance to hear or be molded by other opinions. The folk song thing was kinda silly, but I'll bet she gets free drinks at all the good little socialist hangouts for that.

I actually liked the fact Kerry stood up for McCain. I'm barely lukewarm for McCain, for a couple of reasons. But one thing I do respect is friends standing up for each other. I still think Kerry should never be president, and I detest his brand of politics. But for this I give him points for being human.

Now, Kerry was right about one other thing, the hecklers weren't being brave. How much courage does it take to act a fool when there's no penalty for it? None of Cheney's ninjas dropped down and spirited them of to secret prisons, so I think any back patting on their part is just a form of mental masturbation. They like it, but it's not what everyone else came to see. I am curious though. If one of little missy's icons came to speak and was loudly heckled and mocked, how much would she like free speech then?

You wanna bet she'd be outraged?

Friday, May 19, 2006


At last, some sanity.

Senator Joe Lieberman, I don't always agree with him, but I always gave him credit for being a serious minded Statesman. A rarity in the democratic party. Instapundit pointed to this post from Ann Althouse. The sane part of the democratic party is finally waking up to the attempted purging of one of the best of the moderate faction in their party.

A growing cast of prominent activists is backing [Democratic challenger Ned] Lamont. Markos Moulitsas, who advised the presidential campaign of Howard Dean in 2004 and founded the blog Daily Kos, is appearing in a campaign commercial for Mr. Lamont....

"A very simple thing happened that changed Democratic politics dramatically, and that was that the war turned bad," [said Al From, the founder and chief executive of the Democratic Leadership Council], adding of the senator's critics: "There's a group in our party that makes a lot of noise and I don't think they've ever won an election. They're trying to take out one of the great statesmen our party has and that's wrong."

Finally, ..... finally someone is noticing that there's an effort to drive the remaining moderates away from the party. It's telling that From recognizes that guys like KOS are killing them. They are the red meat left, more interested in screaming at the right than at being serious about governing the only super power left in the world. KOS is good at drawing the foaming at the mouth left, but that doesn't win jack. You have to act as if you understand what the majority want, and it isn't Kos's agenda. Maybe some good will come of this.

Maybe, at last the center right will begin to grab a whip and a chair and tell these clowns that they are the propeller beanie fringe. So they need to sit down and shut up, while the grownups try and save the party. KOS is the best defense republicans have.

They look so much better in comparison.


Reid calls language proposal racist

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid called a proposal to make English the official language "racist" on the Senate floor yesterday.

"This amendment is racist. I think it's directed basically to people who speak Spanish," the Democrat said during the already tense debate over immigration reform.

in the same article---

"Our federal wallet is stretched to the limit by illegal aliens getting welfare, food stamps, medical care and other benefits without paying taxes," he said in 1993. "These programs were not meant to entice freeloaders and scam artists from around the world." Earlier this year, Mr. Reid confessed on the Senate floor that his anti-immigrant fervor "mostly lasted about a week or two" before his wife brought him around to the more open position he holds today. But nearly a year after his "freeloaders" statement, Mr. Reid was on the Senate floor criticizing immigrants again and worrying about their cultural impact.

They just can't help it can they. Republicans are just racist, it's like their default setting, hardwired into their iddy biddy little brains. Yet this Senator feels perfectly free to say things that would get a republican Senator brutally savaged in the press, I mean, he couldn't be an insensitive ass, after all, he's a democrat. He couldn't be a hypocrit, that would mean he'd have to take responsibility for what he says.

Double standards from the democrats, who'd a thought it?

What makes his statement especially dumb,

And it's a bipartisan issue, according to the poll, which found that 92 percent of Republicans and 82 percent of Democrats approve making English the country's official language.

So are all those democrats racist too, or just the republican's Senator? Really, I'd like an answer from a democrat. I'm so friggin tired of the "Big Lie", repeated over and over and over. I've never used racist words, in my family it wasn't done, it was hateful and rude, so we were taught better. A working class republican family. I know a dozen so called good democrats who regularly use the N word to describe other Americans. Who are open about it. So I get outraged when I read crap like this. They should check their own poor white voter base and see just who is supporting them. They might be shocked at what they find. The democrats had better learn to look under their own skirts first, because from where I sit,

they look like idiots.

I found the picture of the Senator from a Google search that led me to Powerpundit. Another writer I'll add to my list. And of course the usual Drudge link.


Never Again?

When George Bush proclaimed Iran as being part of an Axis of evil, he was roundly denounced by the world's intellectuals and "enlightened" politicians. Do you remember?

Another difficulty, experts say, was the choice of the word "evil."

"It's too heavy and radioactive a word," said Joseph Montville, director of the Preventive Diplomacy program at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington. "You can't make a deal with evil. You can only kill it."

No shit.

Well, then, how do the people who screamed at him for being a warmonger explain this away?

Human rights groups are raising alarms over a new law passed by the Iranian parliament that would require the country's Jews and Christians to wear coloured badges to identify them and other religious minorities as non-Muslims.
"This is reminiscent of the Holocaust," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, the dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles. "Iran is moving closer and closer to the ideology of the Nazis."

-- further down.

Mr. Ahmadinejad has repeatedly described the Holocaust as a myth and earlier this year announced Iran would host a conference to re-examine the history of the Nazis' "Final Solution."
He has caused international outrage by publicly calling for Israel to be "wiped off the map."

Iran does not yet have nuclear weapons, but Tehran believed by Western nations to be developing its own nuclear military capability, in defiance of international protocols and peace treaties.

Drudge provided the link.

Was Bush wrong? How many people will now say, ooops! How many will apologise for being so mind numbingly wrong? If we just stick our heads in the sand, we're headed back towards death camps and genocide. That's why they need the bomb, to try and deterr the US from preventing the genocide they would bring down on the world. You have to be blind not to see it.

Or on the other side.

They would force us to choose, if we retaliated for their nuking Tel Aviv, would we risk loosing New York, or Boston, or even London or Paris? Would our hand be stayed if that was the price to stop them? If it was, would we have to watch as the ovens were relit? Watch as the round ups began? Anyone who says we can't do anything to prevent their getting the bomb needs to think this through to the end. After finding Saddam's graveyards, no one can say that it can't happen in the midddle east, not after the Marsh Arabs, the Kurds. We know what they would do.

Would we be so cowardly as to let this happen? again?

Thursday, May 18, 2006



I've been updating my blogroll, as can be plainly seen. I'm gonna break some with the unwritten rule that you must link back to a site that links to you. I know I'm super small time, not anywhere near the level of intelligence or wit that I've linked to. So, I'll be just as happy if no one links to me, beyond those friends that already have. I'm not so proud as to be anything but greatful if someone reads what I've written. You see this is therapy for me, just getting things off my chest.

So wether you agree with me or not, links are welcome, but I make no claim to deserve them. My writing has gotten pretty rusty, and I'm really trying to improve it, to not repeat myself, to make it crisper. Working too on making my posts shorter, more direct. I guess, more... conversational. That's what I enjoy, friendly conversation, picket signs are for outside please.

So pour a coffee, and if you like, we'll talk for a spell.


This is KOS?

I never knew his real name, nor cared to. This is the guy behind all the self aggrandising crap on theKOS website?

He's a child.

It would account for all the tantrums, the fullbore rants, the I'm perfect while cowardly seeking to remove all traces to his rather stupid statements on Americans deaths bullshit. The thing about youth, is the complete certainty that you know everything, and everyone else isn't just wrong, but evil. His brushing off real enemies to point the finger at Bush as the true demon. A well fed and pampered pup, he couldn't make it through boot, and try breaking some bones. Then having to work anyway, cause your family depends on you boy. I doubt he has the experiences to know that hubris is a disease mostly affecting the too young and the too sure.

Tim Blair led me to this, and I'm glad he's around to wade through the swamps for us. The thing about KOS isn't just that he's wrong on everything from my prospective, but that he's so damn arrogant about it. He's out to SAVE the Constitution from all the dark forces on the right, middle and even the moderate left.

He is, is he?

What's hypocritical of lefty loonys and the Constitution is that any time they wish to change it, or reinterprit it, it's just allowing the Constitution to be a living document, that adapts and changes as it was created to do. I actually agree with that. The problem is, he considers anyone else's attempts to do the same thing as trashing the Constitution. So, which is it boy? Either we all have the same rules to live by, or we have a one party KOS UberAlles. Since the only thing in his rather limited mind that saves this country from ruin, seems to be.... him.

His is the cocksuredness of a child, demanding, willful, and utterly certain that no one ever had an original before HE came along. I have to tell you, I like children, adore my own, cherish them all,

but I wouldn't let them decide the family budget, or tell me how best to protect them.

I've bled and hurt too much to believe in absolutes anymore.



The second post in a row on something at Powerline. After Blogcritics lambastes Powerline for an ad that appears on their site, the very same ads appear on the page the piece is posted on.


I've only gone to Blogcritics once before this, and if this is an example of how shody they can get, I won't be back. I mean, good lord how can you be such an ass. It would pay them to actually look at their own ads first, don't ya think? I make lots of mistakes myself, and there's no shame in that, at least if you admit to it. But I don't set myself up as being a watchdog either. So yes, I'm laughing at Blogcritics.

I'm just a simple guy, no education above High School, not a journalist, not a scholar, not an expert on anything. I'm just a working dad, struggling with finances, medical problems, and trying to raise a family. Just a shmoe off the street, a Bush voter, someone tired of being treated like I should shut up and be a good little drone, because the "experts" are on the job. Well, I didn't get to go to college, but my IQ is 133, and I have been a veteran, a father, and a man trying hard to get by when it becomes increasingly tougher to do so. I read as much as I can, from all sides, and at 46 experience in the world I have, so here are my opinions. Take them or leave them, but they are hardly uninformed. If someone like blogcritics took a hard look at me, I'm sure they would find a lot of things to criticise. Still, it's hard not to laugh when a self appointed guardian of the blogesphere falls flat on his face.

No one is perfect, least of all me. But to go after someone for doing exactly what you yourself do?

That's comedy.


Stay the course

Powerline's take on the recent polls.

As we noted here, however, Bush's poll numbers are typical for just about any president at his low ebb. Bush, according to UPI, is currently at 33 percent. Here are the low water marks for presidents from Lyndon Johnson through Bill Clinton:

*Johnson: 35%
*Nixon: 24%
*Ford: 37%
*Carter: 28%
*Reagan: 35%
*Bush I: 29%
*Clinton: 37%

The numbers don't bother me that much, since as it's pointed out, every president has been through this. I've been aware of politics since Nixon'x second term, so I'm old enough to have some prospective. The left's attacks on Bush are to be expected, the only ones that really bother me are from the hard conservative or libertarian side. I'm only concerned that in a rush to "punish" Bush for not governing as they would like, that they end up staying home and handing a victory to the lunatic left by default. Because whatever his faults, I believe he has the primary goals correct. The left calls him a nazi, their standard claim on any republican, the hard right a sellout for being to close to the middle.

It's in the vast middle that his legacy will be decided. He'll neither be pure enough for the right, nor willingly shoot himself to please the left. I'm reasonably sure he'll rebound. Tony Snow's influence will hopefully push him back on focus. There's a long time between here and 2008, and he's been down before, so we'll see.


no no no no no no no no ...

I know that this is all over the web today. Mexican boy dies crossing Arizona desert with mother. I know too, that immirgration is a hot issue with a lot of people, many that I consider friends. I know that issues of jobs, economics, sovereignty, security and all that spring from them are at issue. I know tempers are running high. I know that it's an issue I really haven't taken much interest in, for I don't have any answers on how to solve it. I know little about such things.

Please, please, please, we have to do better. The particulars will come out soon enough, and wether it's all the fault of the mother, or if something drove them into the desert..... The only thing I can see in my head is a dead child. My son is four, my daughter is seven, I can't get the image out of my head of a small boy wandering alone, left to die. If a fence could stop something like this, I'd support it. I know that criminals often exploit and then abandon poor migrants on the border, I know that the Mexican government hasn't done shit, and has dumped it entirely on us.

God, something, anything, I just can't stand the thought of families trying to cross the deserts on foot to get here. Please, no more stories like this. The adults can make stupid choices and we can't stop them from that. But the children, we must do something to keep them from trying to cross the desert, something.

I have no solutions. No ideas on how to handle the border. It's something we need to find agreement on, as soon as we can. Because the way thing go now, clearly something's broken. My instinct is to not turn people away, I don't know how. Obviously, we can't take them all, but that small boy,.....

I'm tired of mourning for children, so damn tired.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


The Instapundit strikes again.

Instapundit was kind enough to post this link, which I believe is factual. I also believe it won't make a dent in wildeyed believers of conspiarcies opinions. Like religious cultists, they believe merely because they want to. This one pisses me off the most,

A columnist on, a Web site run by radio talk show host Alex Jones, claims the seismic spikes (boxed area on Graph 1) are "indisputable proof that massive explosions brought down" the towers. The Web site says its findings are supported by two seismologists at the observatory, Won-Young Kim and Arthur Lerner-Lam. Each "sharp spike of short duration," says, was consistent with a "demolition-style implosion."


FACT: "There is no scientific basis for the conclusion that explosions brought down the towers," Lerner-Lam tells PM. "That representation of our work is categorically incorrect and not in context."


not with a growl, but with a whimper.

It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence.---Mahatma Gandhi

From Tim Blair,

California peaceniks offer their excuses for failing to attend last SaturdayÂ’s anti-war demonstration:

“I am currently working 60 or more hours per week and once the weekend hits I just want to relax at home.”

“staying in with a cold was the main reason.”

It's getting pretty hard to take the anti-war crowd seriously. Bush's popularity may be pretty low right now, (which I'm sure will improve), but the peaceniks seem totally incapable of exploiting if they truly are a growing movement as they say, why so much apathy even among their supporters? The link lead to an indy site which led me to this,


The Newfane Town Meeting was the first for Salzbrunn, who moved to Vermont from Stamford, Conn., four years ago. She said she felt compelled to speak up in support of the president, despite warnings from friends that she had not lived in town long enough to share her opinion. Standing up in the meeting house, Salzbrunn described watching from her New York office on Sept. 11, 2001, as planes hit the World Trade Center.


and they say we threaten and make them afraid? They even show this on their own websites. They admit threats are made against Bush supporters. Not only are they limp in their grassroots movement,


DeWalt, 49, moved to Vermont in the 1970s and won election to the Board of Selectmen last year. He had no trouble placing the impeachment article on the Town Meeting agenda; of the first 82 people he asked to sign his petition, 78 agreed, he said. Distracted by another time-consuming project -- starting a free local newspaper -- DeWalt said he did little to get out the vote or campaign for his cause.


This movement, if you can call it that, is even questioning why they can't seem to get anywhere. The above statement shows that evenhardcoredcore of the lefty peacenik folks can't seem to get off the dime and actually accomplish much.

The loony left will always be around to carp, but this effort is clearly not meeting any of their expectations. I don't know what they really expected would happen, but seeing any opposition to their agenda on a small town level seems to totally floor them. They did something outrageous to draw attention then complain when a large segment of the locals gets angry that they claim to speak for all of them. Who is really trying to smother speech here?

The loonyleft. Do as I say, not as I do since the late 19th century.


of sons, and what might have been.

Michelle Malkin

...[S]he began with the same old same old by insisting that Bush "lied" to us about Saddam's WMDs. Then things got interesting: she acknowledged that 9/11 was a "criminal act," and said we should have treated it like a criminal act and not gone and invaded "two innocent countries." Which is a pretty radical way, even for her crowd, to describe Afghanistan under the Taliban.

--- Cindy (I'm A rock star now) Sheehan

She's so grief stricken she can't part with a few hundred bucks to mark the son's grave that sparked her career in lunacy.

For the first year after Casey was killed, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to place a TOMBstone on my son's grave. I didn't want one more marble proof that my son was dead. I couldn't even call where he was buried a "cemetery," I had to call it "Casey's Park." I placed fresh flowers in the cup every week and journaled there almost on a daily basis, and often laid on it and fell asleep and dreamed of my needlessly killed son. Have any of these people who claim that I am pissing on my son's grave even visited him? Have they visited the grave of any soldier needlessly or senselessly killed in George's war of choice for oil and profit? Have they sobbed uncontrollably for my first born who shouldn't even need a gravestone? No, all they want to do is attack a mother who wants to prevent other people from having to bury their own child. They want to perpetuate a war that has already killed many thousands of our fellow human beings for absolutely nothing.

Very well then, but her son's grave still has no stone. Our son's grave does, and I would bet that it was far more of a burden for us to pay for it then it would be for her. Our infant son didn't die in a war. But when she can say this...

No, all they want to do is attack a mother who wants to prevent other people from having to bury their own child.

Allow me to say this,

she wants to prepetuate a world where our surviving two children are targets for islamic thugs. She wants a world where waging war on those thugs is a crime, where self defense against those who would put us all in the ground is evil. She is pissing on her son's grave, and she's made this all about her, her, and only her. The son who volunteered to serve in Iraq is little more than an afterthought. Her laying on his grave is pathetic when she makes sure there's a camera there to capture HER grief. I know what it's like to bury a son, and her antics just make me ill. I value her son, deeply grateful for his service and I do honestly mourn all the sons and daughters lost. "No parent should have to bury their child" is a qoute that makes my eyes go red everytime I hear it. It's clear that in her zeal to be a pampered heroine to the lunatic fringe that she's lost sight of something.

If, when a home is burning, and a fireman rushs in to save the family only to loose his life... To die, in an act of loving sacrifice, of courage.

Do you then scream "murderer" at the mayor and firechief?

Do you accuse them of lying and luring the young man to his death, all for nothing? Of plying him with propaganda to seduce him into a situation that led to his death? That's what she's doing. When my mother buried her first born and only daughter, my sister, she became similarly unhinged, she blamed the doctors, the hospital, even my father. No amount of truth could disuade her, she could not, would not accept that the cancer was no ones fault. Sheehan is acting exactly like that, so bitter, so convinced that her grief is the only concern, the only truth.

She's transformed what actually happened into a personal vendetta.

I know what grief can do to you. It takes an extremely selfish person to so entwine themselves in their own pain, that they forget that others may hurt as well. They disregard the choices that the lost loved one made, and turn it into a kind of theft when in reality it was no such thing. Her simple minded politics preceded her son's death, so when she just piggybacks them on her son's grave, who is she really concerned about?

Buy a stone Cindy, then maybe I'll believe that you don't think it's really all about you.

Buy a Stone, and give him the respect his life deserved.

Buy a stone, he's your son.

Buy a stone, as one grieving parent to another, something that's entirely his. Not your's, but as a last gesture of love to a son. Even someone as damaged as you should be able to see that. I could not write about my son for a very long time, I still weep for him. So apare me the outrage, spare me the selfishness. I know the horribleness of imagining what would have been, of wondering what he might have done, or became. I know the torment, the sadness that can never fade away. I still see his face in my mind, everyday. So don't blame everyone else for a choice that Casey made, that he believed in. His effort will in time be measured in the children not yet born who will live in peace because of men like Casey, why do you rob him of that? Why do you steal from him the nobility of his efforts?

In the fullness of time, I would wish that my son could meet your's in the next world. If my son could grow to be anything like me, I bet he would like Casey. I would hope too that they both would never again know the pain of this earth. I hope that my son would tell your's that his father is greatfull. That his life had purpose and that others are alive today because he made a difference.

There is no grief like the grief for a child. So I wonder if I shouldn't feel sorry for Cindy. I'm tired of outrage and anger. I wonder if I shouldn't hope that one day, she'll come to see that travesty she made of his death. Because the only theft I see, is the one where she robs him of the dignity of his life and the causes he believed in. A fathers pain, a mothers, in all of that you must remember that it's the child who suffered the greatest loss. The loss of a future denied. When Cindy can remember that, maybe she will come to see that Casey's life and not her own persoanl pain is what should be his legacy. A legacy that hopefully will ensure my other two childrens future. Don't take something noble, and turn it into a thing of hate.

I'm going to make sure my son and daughter know who Casey was, and what he died for. I'm going to make sure they remember his name. It's the only way I can give him the respect that she denies him.

Get him a marker Cindy, it's a right thing, a loving thing to do. Forget the why's and politics, forget your agenda for just a second and just remember to love your son.

Just get the stone.


An Apology

I know that there have been alot of typo's, and misspellings. Sorry, but I'm used to typing with both hands and nerve damage to my left hand means I frequently hit the wrong key, sometimes I catch it, sometimes not if I'm typing quickly. I neglect to use spell checker, and I'll try and remember to use it all the time.



A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so they say.

I wrote on this earlier, the new pictures released on American flt. 77, the one that hit the Pentagon. Captain's Quarters has a much better post on it. This small bit reminded me of something that I had discussed online about two years ago.

A few commenters (not the bloggers themselves) say this is evidence that the attack was a missile and not a fully-loaded 767, and offer by way of further proof the long-standing assertion that the damage to the Pentagon was too light to have been caused by American 77.

This is what I consider as proof that not enough knowledge can lead even normally very smart people to believe goofy things. I was commenting on what a friend from the anti-government left, (well not exactly left, but certainly not middle or right) had said. He had seen large military choppers in a civilian area near his home, from his discription, either Black Hawks or possibly Jolly Greens, but they were large heavy lift types. He kept saying they had these huge guns. About twenty feet long extending from the nose of the aircraft. Now, I'm an Air Force vet, and what he described doesn't exist. There is no helicopter with anything nearly that large mounted as a weapon.

After a second, I realized what he was trying to describe was a refueling boom. It's so long as to allow the refueling lines to clear the large rotors of the bird in question. It was that simple, and he didn't want to believe it. I talked with him for a long time beore he would part with the thought that the "black helicopters" were in his backyard. He also thought the dark color scheme, (essential for night operations) was black even though a dark green is actually the color. It became apparent that when people with no experience, no training, or no enterest in finding out about it, see something that they try to analize, they can get it terribly wrong.

You have to wonder, the people convinced that it was a missile, are they deluded, or just using a lack of knowledge to try to explain something that they know nothing about. Then getting defensive when shown they goofed and got it all wrong? So defensive that they cement themselves in a position that becomes increasingly harder to justify. So defensive that they end up looking either crazy, or worse, like they're on the other side of this war.

Maybe some of it stems from that. A stubburn refusal to admit that they don't know anything about what they're talkning about.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


A little story of faith, of courage, and fidelity.

I just said in a previous post that I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist. I broke with the church long ago, clearly, I'm not a pacifist, or a good vegitarian. It was more than that, but having been raised in this faith, I was very familiar with this story.

United States: Adventist Doss, First Conscientious Objector to Win Medal of Honor

It is reported that Doss, a quiet, unassuming man, never liked being called a "conscientious objector," preferring "conscientious cooperator" instead. Instead of accepting a deferment from the military draft, Doss voluntarily joined the U.S. Army, but never took up arms. Assigned to the 307th Infantry, 77th Infantry Division, as a company medic he was often harassed and ridiculed for his beliefs. Raised a Seventh-day Adventist, Doss did not believe in using a gun or killing because of the sixth commandment which states, "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13). Doss was a patriot however, and believed in serving his country. According to his Medal of Honor citation, time after time, Doss' fellow soldiers witnessed how unafraid he was for his own safety. He was always willing to go after a wounded comrade, no matter how great the danger. During the May 5, 1945, battle in Okinawa, Doss refused to take cover from enemy fire as he rescued 75 wounded soldiers, carrying them one-by-one and lowering them over the edge of the 400-foot Maeda Escarpment. He did not stop until he had brought everyone to safety nearly 12 hours later. Doss would later credit knot-tying skills learned in an Adventist youth group, the Pathfinders, with helping him accomplish the rescue.

It's an important story, especially in this day and age. When some who claim that they only serve the cause of peace in opposing this war, that they believe in nonviolence as justification for their actions, ... I think they should read this. There were several Adventist medics decorated highly in Vietnam, though they aren't mentioned here.

If you cannot kill, that doesn't mean you don't owe your country. I'm not suggesting that every protester enlist as a medic, what I'm saying is that there are ways to remain true to a belief and still support those who do fight to end a great evil.



Da Vinci Code,

I'm not chatholic, I was actually raised a Seventh Day Adventist. I'm struck however at how entirely safe that the producers of this film felt to be insulting close to a billion people world world wide. And with all the protests, calls for bans, and hunger strikes,.....

No ones been killed, and nothings been torched. The backlash has been peacefull and restrained, compare that to the aftermath of a single panel cartoon in a European newspaper depicting Mohammad. The difference is striking and frankly, if you're Muslim, you ought to feel a little ashamed of your brethren.

I think that this person got it right.

Wong said the 'strategy' adopted by many Malaysian churches in response to the movie, which also opens there on Thursday, was to hold talks debunking claims made by Brown in his book and the movie.
'We are not intimidated by this. If you hold your house in order, you are not afraid of any onslaught,' he said.

Wether Brown actually believes the things in the book or movie I couldn't say, I do note however that is was published as a "novel" and not as nonfiction. I don't intend to see the film and never read the book. Not as a protest, I just don't care for murder thrillers wrapped in conspiracy, there were alot of them done in the seventies and I disliked all of them. I do find the comments by various people envolved in the film that they never saw this protest coming as utter BS. They knew exactly what they were doing. Controversay brings box office, meaning lots and lots of money. The only First Amendment right that's being excercised is the right to piss on someones faith and line your pockets while doing it.

I used to think Hanks was better than this, but I guess not.


It won't matter

The Defense Department released the video to the public today in response to a Freedom of Information Act request by Judicial Watch, a Washington, D.C.-based public interest group.
``We felt it was very important to complete the public record with respect to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11,'' Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton said in a statement. ``
We hope that this video will put to rest the conspiracy theories involving American Airlines Flight 77.''

Reasonable people can hope, but the groups mentioned aren't made up of reasonable people. They have pre-existing hates and grudges so proof doesn't really matter much to them. They would much rather blame our own government, it's more in tune with their prejudices. Jesus Christ himself could loft these nutjobs a thousand feet in the air, look them dead in the eye and confirm it as true,......

And they still would deny it and condemn Christ as being on Rove's payroll.

That's the kind of delusion they harbour. After trolling through, (I refuse to link to these assholes), My enitial words were far too kind. They share the same kind of outer fringe nutjobbary that makes the American communist party, religious cults and the Klan so warm and fuzzy. They quote Buzzflash as a source! They couldn't show a greater lack of intelligence if they tried. These sites are seductive to the mildly disturbed because they mix a fraction of fact with a huge amount of anonymous quote fiction. High government official supposedly said, and we have they their word on it's validity. They could qoute a janitor for all we know, even if the sap exists at all. There is a reason why people at CNN, MSNBC and CBS ignore them, hardly friends to Bush, even they see them for the lunatic fringe that they are. They are the incestuous cousins of those that said Clinton ran drugs when he was governor, had people killed, the same kind of fanatic.

Does anyone serious believe that the media that exposed and drove out Nixon would pass on this if it had a shred, even a tiny shred of credibilty to it?

I really don't enjoy verbal furballs anymore, but this is just asinine.

Monday, May 15, 2006


I'm figuring it out

My blog roll has been empty while I figure out how to post them. Blogger doesn't make it easy. I had to pick a different template and input the code directly, something that may be a snap for everyone else, but I'm still learning. more to come as I get the time.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


Falling into old habits

I promised myself that I wouldn't go as political or as harsh as I was in the past. I caught myself doing pretty much that, and that bothered me alot. I'm not really happy doing the heated arguement path anymore. So much that's written now is so heated, so angry. In the first of several efforts I'm going to post something outside of politics. Something human. If it comes out horrible I'm sure I'll hear about it. You see I've decided not to write something from the gut, but from the heart. It may explain alot, and hopefully it may even help someone who feels the same, who has the same afflection. It's probably going to sound like whining, I hope it doesn't, but It may. After you read it, maybe you'll understand why I'm trying to put aside anger. I've had enough of it. I still believe all the things that I've written, I just choose not to go looking for anymore battles.

and so,

Of Bones and Flesh;

I complain too much these days, and have come off as an angry man, one who snaps and growls way too much. I resolve to make amends as best I can. So please forgive me if I sounded bitter. I have no experiences in a life rich with them to guide me through this kind of terrain. Everyone else that I've ever met with a similar situation was so much older, close to the end of their days.
I wish in this I could find a voice of comfort, a mentor. Someone to give me advice on something that all have on occasion, many frequently, and a few constantly. How do you learn to deal with unremitting pain? How do you find a quiet place where you can find relief for even just a short time? I've had this for a long time now. Old and new injuries to my spine, injuries that cannot all be repaired under the knife. All three areas are affected, from the neck down. I do have access to medications, the doses are as light as possible, but they are still powerful drugs. They work less and less well. I hesitate to ask for higher doses simply because the faster I build a resistence to them, the sooner the day comes when they will not work at all. I recently chose to not have them refilled, because they simply cost too much.

That was a costly judgement.

I can get by without the opiates, barely, but with strength of will, I can function through the pain. I did learn however there is a drug I cannot miss. An anti-seizure drug, nuerontin, it greatly controls a massive amount of the missfiring nerve signals from my pinched nerves. The last evening before I had it refilled, when it finally wore off was the third worst night in my life. My entire left side was in agony, a burning piercing ache that almost had an electric shock feel to it. I couldn't stand, couldn't lie down, only sit upright. I slept not at all that night. If I started to nod off, I awoke a heartbeat later fighting off the urge to vomit from the pain. The discs in my neck only permit certain movements, and nodding off put my head at a wrong angle.

I won't be so stubborn again. Our finances are better now so it shouldn't be an issue.

What goes through your mind when a night like that happens? That's an easy question but with a very complicated answer. Everything and nothing. I wondered if I had been such a bastard that I simply deserved it, wondered if it was my karma in need of repair. I wondered too if it wasn't a curse of my line since my father had had a wasting illness that had destroyed him. I would go through moments of a kind of mental numbness, so tired that I simply zoned out. Periods when I was tempted to pray for relief, but then shrinking from it. For me to ask God for relief, for something as personal as pain, I don't pray for myself. I can't. I almost feel I would be offending God for asking for such a selfish thing. So very many better people than I suffer, and it would feel like I was asking to be favored first, when, I just can't.

I can't.

I do find some solace in writting, and in watching favorite films. I can lose myself in these things and focus on something other than the whirlwind of painful sensations for awhile. If I can sit relatively motionless for a time, it helps to allow the aches to subside.A little movement helps to, as long as I don't over do it. A middle ground between doing nothing and light labor that actually does help. It's difficult to find, and it shifts around making it a hard target. Music is also a distraction, as is time spent playing with my kids, reading to them, or just sitting and talking my angel of a wife. She,... well do you remember when you were a child and brought your booboo to mommy to kiss and make it better?

The principle is the same, all she has to do when my torment is at it's worst to make it a little bit more tolerable is to cradle my neck and head in her arms for a moment or two. She,.. her love is my best defense. It doesen't take the pain away really, what it does is to strengthen my ability to withstand it. She is the basis of my strength when my own will isn't enough anymore. She knows this, and she tells me she dosen't fear for my strength as I sometimes do. She dosen't coddle me though, she expects me to do my best. She knows too, I would rather be struck down by lightning than fail her and our children. Our marriage is as ageless as the rock the earth is made from. One woman, one man, bound in a magic that transcends understanding. All anyone need know, is that I would die for her. So you can see that her touch can be something that indeed could make a difference in my ability to go on.

For all that, the things that help, it always hurts.

It's something I'm always struggling with. You also discover that rage can be a problem. It's the natural instinct of all living things to lash out when you're in pain. It's also something that can turn love into fear. Way back, when all this began, when the doctors told me that it would always hurt to some degree... I made a promise to God. I promised to never, ever, lash out at my family. I wouldn't scream at the kids, not bellow at my wife, not for something that they did nothing to deserve. I promised to never turn my families love to fear, for I've seen it's aftermath before. I truely have held true to that oath. I do not berate or yell at my wife, indeed, I have never even raised my voice with her. I know that some may doubt the truth of that. I'm merely human after all, and humans do stumble. All I can say is that when you've discovered a love as I did, when so many years had passed and you had given up almost on ever finding the woman to complete you....

The thought of driving my angel from me simply destroys me. I can never cause her harm, cause her pain. I would cut my arm off before I could raise it against her. I've seen people who were wrapped in a bitterness so deep that they almost had an aura of rage around them. You wonder why the ground under them doesn't crack under the weight of all that bitterness. On this, I did pray for strength. To not become a loathsome thing that spewed out venom to all around him. It would be so easy to let go and let the rage take over.

Again, the thing I seek to cherish and protect, is what allows me vent my rage in a way that harms no one. Yesterday, I went to stand, and having stiffened up stumbled and cracked my ankle on the table leg, pain flashed from that, and the jolt that transferred to my back. Anger, hot and red as blood filled my eyes, it friggin hurt. The urge to yell at someone, anyone came flooding in. I turned and there stood Amanda, her eyes filled with concern for her daddy. In that micro-second as I looked into the love and concern in her eyes, the rage simply faded away as quickly as it came. I felt clean, I guess would be the word, the anger wasn't suppressed and hidden away, it was gone entirely. Like unclean water flowing down a drain, not a trace remained. How could I lash out at such innocence? Bring misery to such a pure and true heart?

I'm finding my way, bit by bit. I really do wish I could find someone who knows of the things I write. I would like to know how others cope, how they manage. The key to my having endured is as simple as the deep brown eyes of my wife and children. But what of those less lucky? Those who don't have someone to keep them true. For those people, I wish I could offer some insight. I'm not strong really, not when I depend on the love of others to get me through the bad moments. Inside, I still tremble even when it dosen't show, still have the weakness of man. It's not about my will, but their love.

It remains a very hard thing, more dificult than anything I've ever had to do. I've had to risk my life a time or three, and that was easy compared to this. I'm starting to know what Frodo felt, never being truely free again once he had assumed the burden. But unlike Frodo, I'm not alone, and maybe that can make all the difference.

I wish I had the wise council he did though.

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